If you think I'm a spoiled princess...

Disclaimer - this is a rant and involves some personal schitt that I don’t usually discuss in public. If you don't care to be a voyeur, stop reading now.




I got this shirt as one of those “My xxx relative went to xxx and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” type gifts for my daughter.  It was meant to be humorous. Her attitude the last week (month????) has taken the sentiment WAY too far! Can we all say DIVA? Spoiled brat? Out-of-control?!?!? 
I get numerous calls daily about her behavior. I dread going home. Oddly enough (or not so oddly if you keep reading), the only person she listens to is her brother. And only if I’m not around. Though she still manages to  manipulate him.

In 1989, Bruce McIntosh coined the term the "spoiled child syndrome".[4] The syndrome is characterized by "excessive, self-centered, and immature behavior". It includes lack of consideration for other people, recurrent temper tantrums, an inability to handle the delay of gratification, demands for having one's own way, obstructiveness, and manipulation.[5] McIntosh attributed the syndrome to "the failure of parents to enforce consistent, age-appropriate limits", but others, such as Aylward, note that temperament is probably a contributory factor.[6]
It is important to note that the temper tantrums are recurrent. McIntosh observes that "many of the problem behaviors that cause parental concern are unrelated to spoiling as properly understood". Children may have occasional temper tantrums without them falling under the umbrella of "spoiled". Extreme cases of spoiled child syndrome, in contrast, will involve frequent temper tantrums, physical aggression, defiance, destructive behaviour, and refusal to comply with even the simple demands of daily living.[6]

--From Wikipedia

I don’t deny being spoiled myself. I am, but my parents and grandparents always made sure to not turn me into a spoiled brat. Something is seriously wrong with my daughter. Her mood swings make me cringe. They used to be caused by low blood sugar or not enough sleep. Now that I am more in charge of her diet, exercise, and schedule the last few weeks, I can’t say that’s the cause anymore. I do know that some (o.k. a lot) was caused by my overindulgence during the separation. But I don’t think I overdid it. Maybe I’m wrong. I indulge my children. Even Josh will admit that he’s spoiled. But not spoiled rotten.
Before her life went (in her eyes) to hell in a hand basket, my daughter lived up to her name. She was a joy. Everyone, including her older brother, loved having her around (now he hates it and will often revert to talking to her the way he saw modeled. We’re working on it. I excused him from the dinner table the other night because he couldn’t be civil to her). When the emotional/psychological abuse in my marriage got out of control, and counseling wasn’t working, and I was kicked out had to find other living arrangements, I thought things would get better (for the kids). You know, if the source of the irritation isn’t around, you can’t get irritated …
Ever since we moved to CA and I was removed from the toxic situation I began to see that my daughter was suffering some serious emotional setbacks.

In brief,children may experience any of the following problems:

• Emotional Problems: crying, anxiety and sadness, confusion, anger (which can be directed toward either parent or other children, etc), depression, suicidal behaviour, nightmares, fears and phobias. In younger children and babies eating and sleeping disorders are common. Children can also suffer from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).
  
• Behavioural Problems: aggression, becoming troublesome at home or at school, withdrawing into or isolating themselves, regressive behaviour (such as baby-talk, wanting bottles or dummies, etc), lower academic achievements.
  
• Physical Problems: bed-wetting, nervous ticks, headaches or stomach aches, nausea or vomiting, eating disorders, insomnia.

My daughter exhibits multiple symptoms. It started getting really bad last year and we (her father and I) talked about getting counseling for her. He said he would. She says he didn’t. You can imagine my frustration level.
So now I am trying to not blow up at my daughter on a daily basis for her bad behavior, re-train her to the happy, mostly obedient, non-temper-tantrum throwing angel that I fondly remember, try not to blame myself fully for where she’s at (it’s a mother’s job to protect her children and here I have failed twice), and look for a counselor, because really, this is way more than I can handle. My patience has worn thin.