I just can’t seem to get away from this monster. It started late Sunday afternoon with a sudden sense of loss and loneliness. I chalked it up to being tired and coming down from the informational high I got from Drupal Camp. It’s a long drive from Irvine to Lancaster, so I was tired, and worried about Josh. He’s been sick since last Wednesday or so, thought it was just a cough, now it appears to be the flu.
Then yesterday, I went to sleep ok, could not wake up. It felt like there was a heavy hand on my chest and cotton in my brain. I checked on Josh, who still sounded like he was trying to cough up a lung, so opted to stay home. And then realized, I had absolutely no interest in leaving the house, not even to get the rest of my stuff out of the car. “Great, just great, here we go again,” I thought. Then the shortness of breath despite no physical activity whatsoever. This is how I usually know that I am about to have an anxiety attack. And this uncontrollable urge to go back to bed and crawl under my blankets.
I had a bout of agoraphobia last summer that was particularly bad. I couldn’t even leave the house to walk the dogs. That was messy. Yeah, it was that bad. At least this time I have a job that can take my mind off my troubles for eight hours a day. And a sick kid to take care of. So long as I don’t have to take him to the ER.
Not acceptable! It's your birthday weekend. I DEMAND that you feel better right this minute, young lady! Don't make me come up there and hug you...
ReplyDeleteWell. HUGS!!!! I'm sending good vibes your way. Feel that?
totally feel them :) thanks
ReplyDelete