I hate being alone with my thoughts

EscherEye They aren't good thoughts. They aren't uplifting, nor inspiring, nor especially good for my self-esteem. I think that is why I have been hating the drive to Vegas and this whole season. It gives me too much time to think and reflect. And leaves me in a lot pain, which is always a mood-lifter for me. I've been canceling on people lately because of the pain and depression, feeling more and more anti-social. I really don't want to be the life of the party, but can someone drag me out once it in a while? Self-reflection is NOT what I need right now. It leads to drinking, and drinking leads to anxiety, and anxiety attacks, and that whole scenario is just bad.

But if you insist on being an enabler, I'm just about out of Bailey's and completely out of everything else.

I'm a nerdy Mom, recent grandmother, PMP, aspiring writer, amateur photographer, food devourer, wanderer, content editrix, social media maven, Research Goddess and all around general help. My main gift is translating tech into English. Android enthusiast and Browncoat extraordinaire. I write about my passions and interests and occasionally spit out a core dump related to my anxiety and depression.

Comments

  1. LollyDecember 28, 2008 8:12 PM

    I can totally relate. I hate quiet time-I end up with too much time to think and therefore puts me in a funk. To top it off, my hubby does not understand why I am depressed-I am finally a mom and he seems to think I have no reason to be depressed-I have tried to no avail to explain but I don't know that he will ever "get" it! I hate leaving the house and only go out when I have to.
    Lori@Thrifty Thoughts

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  2. UnknownDecember 28, 2008 8:14 PM

    Your friends still believe in you. It's been a trying year and you are still maming the best of each situation you find yourself in. I still believe that one day you be able to let go, let yourself experience positive healthy relationships, allow those who truly care for you be there. You are very special and will always be.

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  3. Linda SDecember 30, 2008 7:04 PM

    I'm sorry...I know how you feel and a lot of what you are experiencing. It sucks. I'll be thinking about you.

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  4. AnonymousDecember 31, 2008 12:20 AM

    Keep your head up. I know exactly what you are going through and it does suck...but you can pull through.. Thigs will turn out well.

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  5. AnnetteDecember 31, 2008 2:23 PM

    Thank you all for your support. I'm not usually a depressed/depressing personality, just lately when I am completely overwhelmed with what life has tossed at me.

    Again, thanks for all the support.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Annette PiperDecember 31, 2008 4:39 PM

    Sorry that you're feeling down at the moment. Here's to a better 2009 :)

    ReplyDelete

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