I don't know what it is about this week, this month. Around Thanksgiving I was looking forward to Christmas, and now that it has arrived, not so much. I'm ready to go into hermit mode. I am tired of the kids asking for things that they *know* I can't afford. Yes, me, not Santa. I'm not sure if my daughter still believes in Santa, but she certainly believes in her Amazon Wish List.
And Josh! Since being in Vegas he has called for money, more money (ok, it's so he can buy Christmas gifts for everyone else but he could have put *SOME* effort into earning his allowance!) my external HDD or lots of DVDs to burn stuff from my brother, and FINALLY, once to find out if I was coming tonight. And could I bring ... I forget what. Joy hasn't bothered to call once, but that's ok. She's 6 and I don't recall wanting to talk to my parents when I was with my grandmother either.
I guess the true source of my sense of Grinchiness is my complete and utter inability to pull this one out of my ass. There have been a few years where it was tight, or impossible, but I have always been crafty and resourceful. This year I am drawing a complete blank. My kids are freaking materialistic and I'm not sure when that happened. And the fact that I can't think of a single thing to get them, galls me. They used to be so easy to shop for, especially after we instituted the "3 Gifts Rule" -- which doesn't completely apply since they get gobs of gifts from everyone else in the family.
I know there has been one other Christmas where I felt "this is the worst Christmas ever", but I don't think I felt this sad, dejected, and upset at myself and the world. That makes this one officially "The Worst Christmas Ever". And no amount of chilly weather or Christmas songs will make me change my mind.