upon reflection

the last few days have been tumultuous, confusing, lonely, and a myriad of other feelings that have ultimately left me emotionally and physically drained. Last night I received some respite as well as affirmation and assurance that I am not the nutcase I often feel like.

the lonliness is the worst. not knowing which friends to trust, or who even have time to listen to my misgivings and self-doubts, no one to talk to completely open and honestly. At least I am FINALLY aware of the type of decisions I make when I'm lonely, stressed out, and down on myself. Not acting on those impulses is getting harder and harder. and there's no one to lean on when I'm at wit's end. my spirit needs rest and restoration. my self-esteem is shot, and i feel like i have nothing left to give.

where do i go from here?