Births, Marriages and Deaths � Just Language

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Births, Marriages and Deaths � Just Language

It’s that part of the local newspaper we’re all drawn to, where we see who we know has had a kid, got wed, or shuffled off this mortal coil.

Over the years, I’ve heard the obituaries called the “Head and Shoulders” page, but births and marriages have always remained births and marriages…until this week.

And I have my colleague to thank for this gem. She was reading the local rag on Thursday lunchtime (or dinner as we backward northeners say) and she said, “I’ll just check hatches, matches and dispatches then you can have it (the paper, that is).”

“What?” I asked.

“Hatches, matches and dispatches,” she said. “Hatches - births, matches - weddings…”

“I get it. I love it. I can’t believe I’ve never heard that one before.”

So, what colourful ways do you know of describing any of the aforementioned?