FW: For All You Parents Out There

-- Forwarded Message --

>Your Clothes:
>1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon >as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
>2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as >possible.
>3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular >clothes.
>Preparing for the Birth:
>1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
>2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that >last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
>3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth >month.
>The Layette:
>1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, >color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the >baby's little bureau.
>2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are >clean and discard only the ones with the darkest >stains.
>3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
>1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a >frown--you pick up the baby.
>2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten >to wake your firstborn.
>3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind >the mechanical swing.
>1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put >it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
>2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you >squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
>3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it >back in.
>1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, >whether they need it or not.
>2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three >hours, if needed.
>3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others >start to complain about the smell or you see it >sagging to their knees.
>1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, >Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
>2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
>3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and >the dry cleaner.
>Going Out:
>1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a >sitter, you call home five times.
>2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you >remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
>3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to >call only if she sees blood.
>At Home:
>1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just >gazing at the baby.
>2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be >sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or >hitting the baby.
>3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding >from the children.
>Swallowing Coins
>1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush >the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
>2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you >carefully watch for the coin to pass.
>3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct >it from his allowance!