on a slightly brighter note ....

February 28, 2006
Thanks for all the prayers, I accepted the Court Care position this afternoon. I'll be starting Monday, March 6, 2006. My new boss seems thrilled to have me. I must give thanks to the One above and to the people who gave me glowing recommendations :)

Normal hours and a commute I don't have to drive. Hallelujah!
4 down (one regular glazed, one maple glazed, a raspberry filled, and a custard filled) and 7 to go. Joy ate one glazed.

Oh yeah. the dozen was 6 regular glazed, two maple, two custard, two raspberry.

Today's Challenge

Can I eat a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts in one sitting without getting too sick? Why? Because I haven't been this frelling upset in years. My life would've been better if I had just said "no" instead of pushing. If he really wanted me I shouldn't have needed to push so hard so many times.

Personality Quizzes

February 27, 2006
Blogger and OKCupid don't get along on this template but they do on my LJ, so ....

How to Get Along with Me

  • Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
  • Share fun times with me.
  • Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
  • Let me know that I am important and special to you.
  • Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

    In Intimate Relationships
  • Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
  • Reassure me often that you love me.
  • Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Two

  • being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
  • knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
  • being generous, caring, and warm
  • being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
  • being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Two

  • not being able to say no
  • having low self-esteem
  • feeling drained from overdoing for others
  • not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
  • criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
  • being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
  • working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Twos as Children Often

  • are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
  • try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
  • are outwardly compliant
  • are popular or try to be popular with other children
  • act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
  • are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Twos as Parents

  • are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
  • are often playful with their children
  • wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
  • can become fiercely protective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

CT at the Movies: Another Christian Movie Week!

I haven't had time to read the all the articles, but this one seems particularly interesting.

You can also view it online at http://www.christianitytoday.com/lyris/movies/archives/02-24-2006.html

I find it interesting that the meanest life, the poorest existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human beings become more affluent, as their living standard and style begin to ascend the material scale, God descends the scale of responsibility at commensurate speed.
--Maya Angelou, 1970

-----Original Message-----


We titled last Friday's newsletter, "It's Christian Movie Week!" And we could just as easily give this week's the same title, because right now in L.A., it really is Christian movie week—in a unique way.As you read these words, 54 films are being made for the 168 Hour Film Project, an annual competition in which contestants have to make a movie in—you guessed it—one week. As if that weren't distinctive enough, each of the films must be based on a Bible verse or passage.Production on the films started Wednesday, and the finished products must be turned in next Wednesday. It's the brainchild of 168 founder John Ware, who says he wanted to do something "innovative, cutting edge, and built on the Word." He says God gave him the idea of planning a film competition and festival around movies that were made within the time frame of one week—168 hours.

We've seen some of the winners from last year, and you'd be surprised at how good they are—made in so little time, and often on a shoestring budget of hundreds, rather than millions, of dollars.Ware says when he came up with the idea, some people called him crazy, telling him, "That pig will never fly." But it's certainly taken off. Check out our story.Some people thought rookie filmmakers Heather Whinna and Vickie Hunter were crazy too, when they decided to shoot a documentary on Christian music. Nothing all that odd about that idea—except that Whinna and Hunter aren't Christians, and they admit they were clueless about Christian music going into the project. The result is an insightful film guaranteed to get conversations rolling. We also have an interview with the filmmakers, who discuss the making of their movie, aptly titled after the classic Larry Norman song, Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music?Meanwhile, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, which is now one of the top 25 grossing movies of all time, is coming to DVD on April 4. But you can pre-order yours now, in a special 2-disc edition, or regular widescreen or fullscreen editions. Aslan is on the move … to your living room.Speaking of otherworldly creatures who show great love to humans—OK, I admit it's a stretch—we've got two brand new Movie Discussion Guides on that most adorable of aliens, E.T., who taught a family how to love one another all over again. There's a regular discussion guide that's perfect for an adult Bible study group or class, and there's a discussion guide created just for families. Phone home and get yours today!See you at the movies,

The Mommy Test

This gave me a huge laugh!


-----Original Message-----

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"Oh, I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom!


yup folks, the cam is back up. Today, if I start it (which I probably will just to get rid of that odd picture of my non-existent cleavage) you'll get snippets of me cleaning ... or not. Joy is a tad sick and we haven't decided yet if she feels well enough for me to go to work. Not to mention that I don't have daycare for her today. What to do, what to do?

All I Need

February 24, 2006

Thoughts on Vanity

February 22, 2006
Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself ...

You're So Vain - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "'You're So Vain' is a song written by and performed by Carly Simon in 1972.
The song was a sarcastic profile of a self-absorbed lover. "

by Jason Deal

O’ beauty, thou art like a vile thorn
That doth pierce my heart
Like a poisonous flower
That is appealing to the eye
Evil and deceptive, thou art undetectable
Like masterfully forged art
To suffer at the hands of vanity
�Tis the blasphemy of all shades
Concealed on the outside the corrosion within
Don’t let the lie devour you like sin

argh, there is a poetic line about vanity that I cannot remember nor seem to find via Google. All y'all well-read readers out there, can you help me out?

weekends are hard

February 21, 2006
Weekends lately have been especially hard. The quiet, the mind drifting ... I guess it doesn't help that I stopped taking my ADs. They were making me sleepy. Well, the Lexapro was. I need to call my doc and find one that treats *just* SAD or ask for the lowest dosage possible of Wellbutrin. I'll find some other way to deal with ADD. I hate feeling stupid. Though, the fuzzy-brain is somewhat normal for me these days. Not that I like it, but I am used to it. Funny how we don't want to give up the things we are used to, even if they are detrimental ...

Missing Jars

February 17, 2006
this is an audio post - click to play

blood:water mission
Jars of Clay

Hrm, I still need to get the "Songs Inspired by The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" -- heard the jars song for that at their last concert at Crossroads.

Let me sleep

February 13, 2006

This is CUTE!
Joy is so cute! Just the way she looks, the way she talks, her little hands. Yes, I am gushing about my almost 4 yr. old daughter. WHERE DID THE TIME GO????

Today, she comes up to my room after about a 1/2 hour downstairs watching Jakers, or maybe it was DragonTales. Anyways, she comes up (with her trains) and says she wants to spend time with me. She gets her train set up, with Thomas in front and then says "I'm going to get the big box" and comes back with her case of tracks. She spends about 10 minutes telling me she is going to build a circle track, but then discovers all the shapes and letters related to a circle. She showed me one and I told her it was a 1/2 circle. She then proceeded to show me a "J" ("Look Mother! A J") and a "C" and then another 1/2 circle, and then turned it on it's ends and showed me a rainbow.

I love seeing her learn. It's so cool!

CNN.com - Hunter wounded by Cheney 'doing well' - Feb 13, 2006

"CNN) -- The campaign contributor accidentally shot and wounded by Vice President Dick Cheney during a weekend quail hunt is 'doing well' and will be released early this week, a spokesman at Christus Spohn Hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas, said Monday."[snip]

Armstrong said Cheney was firing a 28-gauge shotgun, a small-bore weapon commonly used for hunting birds. Cheney has come down to her ranch to hunt quail once a year for at least 15 years, and she called him "a very conscientious hunter."

"I would shoot with Dick Cheney everywhere, anywhere, and not think twice about it," she said. But she said, "The nature of quail shooting ensures that this will happen. It goes with the turf."

CNN's Dana Bash contributed to this report.
Ok, I'm not a hunter, but does this last statement bother anyone else? I mean, I know that deer humters wear bright orange to avoid accidents such as the one described above ... so why don't quail hunters? Safety precautions anyone?

Anyways, my dd has just informed me that she wants to spend time with me. Precocious little thing that she is :) at least she isn't throwing a tantrum to make me figure it out. Time to play trains! (I got her a new Thomas video that had Thomas (the toy steam engine) in it, she's in heaven and has played train and even slept with it ...)

there i go digressing again. Anyways, off to play trains, get ready for work and etc. So, can anyone explain how someone can get shot bird hunting? More so, how could Cheney not see him?

New Toys

February 12, 2006
Ok, so I have yet to blow away my computer and install XP Pro, but the danger of working somewhere where I have been known to shop is that .. well, I will shop there!!! But not excessively :) Today I bought myself a few things, and got "just because" (I was feeling guilty for getting myself something) gifts for the fam. I've been wanting the King bookends from the special extended edition DVD set of LOTR since they came out, like, what, almost 5 years now or something? So, Fry's has set #3 for $22!!!! So now I have the Minis Tirith keepsake box. *sigh of contentment*. We were out of set #1 and #2, and not likely to order them again, but the sales gal was pretty sure that there would be an order form for the bookends in this set. And besides, I don't really want Gollum, just the bookends. And this one looks cool, not to mention all the extras.

Next toy: a Plantronics Bluetooth headset. Ok, here's how clueless I can be. What do you mean you have to charge it???? (no, I didn't know how they worked, just that they did and I see them EVERYWHERE!) So it's charging now. It's battery life and talk time last longer than my phone, can you believe it?

Next toy: a keroppi pen. I love Pachacco, but they haven't brought him back, so now I have the cutest (purple! and green) Keroppi charm pen, with interchangeable charms! And it writes nice too.

For the fam: I got Joy a Thomas the Tank DVD that comes with a Thomas engine (she saw that at Costco a few months ago and is really into Thomas since she saw The Magic Railroad, you know, the one with Alec Baldwin), Glory for Tim (yes, the civil war movie with Denzel and Matthew Broderick (double drool)) and The Hobbit video game for Josh (hopes he likes it, I can't remember, though I know he has played the demo at some point).

Ok, typos notwithstanding, time for me to pass out. Chardonnay still has the effect on me that it used to *wink* ... Though only Peter knows what I might be talking about, if he can remember back that far. ;) and if he reads this before it falls off the page ....

Unrighteous Anger

February 10, 2006
I’m mad. I’m mad. I’m Mad. I’M MAD!!!!!!!! And for probably all the wrong reasons. I want to throw a temper tantrum. One of my … I guess you could call it a comfort, is being taken away, and I suppose for good reason, but still I’ M MAD!!!

Not the way I want to start the day, and it was the way the night ended too. And I know that you are not supposed to go to bed mad at one another (Ephesians 4:26), but I don’t think I have the humor of Gayle Erwin in this one. For those of you who have never heard Gayle speak, he once told a story of he and his wife having an argument – and they didn’t sleep for two weeks. I don’t feel like having much of a sense of humor right now. I feel like giving the whole world a black look and telling everyone to “bugger off!” and I work in customer service. I suppose I need to get a grip before I go to work. Is it right for a 30-yr-old woman to throw a temper tantrum that would rival anything her 3 yr-old could produce? The image would be funny if it weren’t so sad, as in pathetic.

Any good advice would be appreciated. Anyone trying to tell me to grow up can well, bugger off! I already know that.

Morning already?

February 8, 2006
Urgh, I should have listened to my doc and never stopped taking the WB. I am having so much trouble waking up this morning. I feel like I did before I started taking it. Yet another reason why I hate taking meds. My body is so darn sensitive to them. Funny thing happened last night (well, funny if you HAVE to find the humor in a situation) – Tim and I have been talking a lot lately about our relationship and marriage and where we want it to go and things like that. Well, talked about some heavy stuff last night and guess what!!! I started breaking out in hives. It was one of those moments where I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Thank God for Benadryl. And last week we did a lot of heavy talking about our relationship too, but I didn’t track it too much. I do know that at least 2 or 3 of our conversations were cut short because I was just itching so much. That first Friday night though wasn’t one of them. I just wanted out of my skin ... or was it …. Did I call home that day on my lunch break? Or was that one of the days when I didn’t?

I hate these holes in my memory. I used to be able to remember things like that quite well, but then, I used to be able to do quite a lot of things quite well. Well, it’s almost 10AM, I just got out of bed, Joy has been up since like 7:30 or something like that, but managing to find things to occupy her and not get into too much trouble. There’s so much to do today, but with the rain back, I just want to sleep and drink hot cocoa all day. Time to get MOTIVATED! Maybe I’ll go to Christian Supply and buy the Superchick album, or just download it off Rhapsody and save myself $4 =)


Random Health Update II

February 7, 2006
So, this afternoon I went to my doc about the hives and some other weird stuff the WB was doing with my ADD (can we say I was getting stupid, unfocused and really random?) She firmly believes that it was still the sulfa in the bactrim that was causing the hives (saying that the effects could last up to two weeks) and just a REALLY weird coincidence about the timing with the Wellbutrin. And that I was probably just really sensitive to it and “please, Annette, I hope you don’t ever get sick” or something along those lines. She wasn’t too upset that I had stopped taking it, but suggested I start it again, and yes, if I started getting hives again, then we could look at some other anti-depressant. That’s when I brought up the other things that were going on and she offered me a two-week trial of Lexapro, yet another anti-depressant that also treats ADD.

I was telling Tim all this and he wonders how much might be environmental since I didn’t really have much mental health issues before I moved up here. My friends from HS remember me as almost perky, but definitely always in a good mood, rarely moody or temperamental, fairly clear-headed, a little crazy, but that’s what made me fun =)  and oh yeah, focused. I had ambition, and drive, and motivation and generally well-balanced. One thinks it’s kinda funny that I would be diagnosed with ADD this late in life and figures someone is just trying to label me because they can’t figure out what else might be going on. Which could be true. I mean, some of the stuff that I have read and dealt with growing up does go along with the inattentive/day-dreamy ADD (most often found in girls), but I’ve managed to cope almost 30 years so far with it. I guess all the crap from the last 7 years is finally catching up to me big time. Too much time on my hands and such. Tim’s theory is that I never really dealt with all those changes and the buildup is finally getting to me. Has finally gotten to me. To us. Along with the most current crisis which I am doing my darndest to run away from through work and keeping busy. It’s how I keep from going crazy. I throw myself into something that doesn’t allow for much mental downtime.

ARGH!!!!  So I just looked up sulfa and one thing that WASN’T mentioned in the Rite-Aid pamphlet was the bit about mental confusion. So the darn antibiotics could have been causing me all this trouble for the last 10 or so days. Just one freaking dose. What a PIA!!!!!! What a waste of time and resources and co-pays!!!! (I’ve spent more at the doc in the last month than I usually spend in a year. Our co-pay is reasonable, but still …)

Greetings from McDonald's

February 6, 2006
this is an audio post - click to play

this one is almost 4 minutes of me rambling about the morning and Joy and being tired. I wonder why I get all the weird side effects of meds these days. I didn't used to be affected by *anything* grr ... changing metabolism sucks.

Unexpected Blessings?

WOOHOO!!!! Unplanned day off! My sitter is out of town due to the SuperBowl (darnit, I had to work yesterday and missed all the new cool commercials!! Any good ones?)

I digress! Oh yeah, haven't taken a darn WB since Thursday. Now I know WHY they don't want you to stop cold-turkey. I had some *really* strange thoughts last night on the drive home and absolutely no energy for the last day or so. And this morning my distraction level is THROUGH THE ROOF! And I think I made mention of all the constant machine-gun babble that goes on in my head, that's where most of the distraction comes from. I can't keep a train of thought on track for more than a few minutes. And to think the WB was making that WORSE! Actually, I think it was that the words were not getting from my brain to my mouth .... or the other way around, and now that I am trying to think coherently nothing is working ... can I just go off to a convent or somewhere silent and peaceful for a while and do a major core dump????

I have so much that I want to say, write, do and I can't get it all out right now, mainly due to time constraints. I have to be at Josh's school in an hour and I am still in pajamas. I took some Tylenol PM last night around 9PM and that stuff KNOCKED ME OUT!!!! ... I was out for like 10 hours and my brain is still trying to get kick started *yawn* .... well, have a doc appt this afternoon. Thank goodness the sun is out today. Hi's and lo's. My goodness, I hate rollercoasters. Actually, I really like rollercoasters, I just hate emotional/energy ones. Ah, the whining mistress.... er, my darling daughter, breakfast, dressed, so much to do, and in only 45 minutes.

Love you all. I need .... something!!!!!

Home at a decent hour

February 4, 2006
this is an audio post - click to play

Machine-gun babble and hives and girl stuff

this is an audio post - click to play

MOM burnout

February 2, 2006
so here is a tid bit for you...I thought it fit us mom's to a tee
dontcha think: MOM Burn Out? sighns of burn out on your job....
Sign No. 1: Your co-workers are walking on eggshells around you.
If you find yourself becoming cranky and irritable with co-workers you used to get along with, it may be more than just typical interpersonal dynamics.

Sign No. 2: You come in late and want to leave earlier.
You used to wake up in the morning excited for another day, but now every day you dread heading into the office. Once lunch passes you start watching the clock, counting the minutes to the end of the day.

Sign No. 3: Apathy has replaced enthusiasm.
You feel no motivation, no sense of accomplishment and have no desire to be challenged. Those who have burnout lose their motivation to perform, as well as their feelings of pride for a job well done.

Sign No. 4: You've lost camaraderie with co-workers.
You're no longer interested in the company network. You used to go to lunch, go out for drinks and participate in other company functions but now have no desire in socializing in or out of the office.

Sign No. 5: You're feeling physically sick.
You always feel exhausted, have headaches, feel tension in all of your muscles and are having trouble sleeping. These physical signs are common indicators of job stress, and demonstrate that this can turn into a physical problem.


Ok, I spoke to soon. The itching has commenced! So I think I will call my doc this morning. Thanks for all the encouragement and advice.

Going to try to take Joy to the Zoo tomorrow to watch the orangutangs play football (sort of). Meant to go this morning for the hedgehog thing, but ... I think we both like just chilling in the mornings when I have to work. Today's choice, painting and "The Incredibles" while I make camping reservations (yay yurts!!!! and Newport pass) and call my various doctors. And get paperwork (more and more and more) submitted for time off. This place is sooooo .... but some of the people are nice, and not hormonal. Ok, time to eat and make more phone calls ... opps, landline phone just died. Not good. Buttons no worky.... very bad. grr. midol time before i get even more loopy.

Dude! Where's my car?!

this is an audio post - click to play


February 1, 2006
this is an audio post - click to play
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