The Lord works in mysterious ways

Can I gripe at the Lord? I called the most selfish person I know. And was told to get my head out of my ass. How can that be????? I stared at the sky and made faces at the Lord and accusations like “How could you???”. I don’t want to get my head out of my ass!!! I don’t want to do my part!!!! Yeah, yeah, I know I should. But to have the most immature, selfish person I know tell me to swallow my pride, be loving, subservient, whatever it takes.  How can everyone else see that he’s a good man? From Day 1 people have been telling me that. Here’s my problem, I know it, have always known it, but it doesn’t and hasn’t ever done anything for me. Nothing, nada, zilch fact that he’s a good enough man to swallow his pride to take care of me and my son, when no one else wanted to...  Maybe I do need to join a convent, or get with an asshole. Or get my head out of my ass. Give me time, I’ll get there eventually.