I have no motivation. I am so used to talking to one particular person, having him available. And now I can't. And there is so much to do. I'm in limbo. Someone give me a push so I can get rolling ... rolling, downhill. Everything downhill. Gee, maybe I should get on some meds. Not being able to talk to someone shouldn't be this bad. Why don't i feel this bad when i don't talk to God? prolly because I don't have such intimate conversations as i did with CWSC.

what a PIA! I know this is right, but it feels ... blah. I want my cake and to eat it too. It's like being a diabetic, making a luscious poundcake, and then watching it get wasted because I can't eat it.

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