True Mother-in-Law

December 21, 2004
I get some good and some bad religious jokes from my mom. For your reading pleasure .....

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they argued before the King until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall cut the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's advisor.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.

On the Road to Potty Training

December 15, 2004
I've mainly given up on having the time to properly and quickly train Joy. She's getitng the hang of it though. Yesterday she went the *whole* morning without an accident in her new Winnie-the-Pooh underwear.

First, she disobeyed me because I told her that she could wear the Pooh underwear *after* she was potty trained. She managed to open the package, take off her diaper, and put on the underwear. I told her that if she had an accident, pee or poop, I would take away ALL of her underwear. With her usual determination she said, "I won't poop. I won't pee." I re-emphasized the importance of going to the potty and NOT going in her underwear.

Throughout the morning I asked her a few times if she had to go. Each time she said "No." We then had an outing to the library and she stayed dry the WHOLE morning! The whole morning! She didn't do anything until I put a diaper on her at nap time, close to 1 PM. close to 5 hours dry !

I'm so proud of her!!!!
We'll see if I can get a repeat performance out of her today or even later this week.
Annette Sargent
Open Arms Family Daycare
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