True Mother-in-Law

I get some good and some bad religious jokes from my mom. For your reading pleasure .....


Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they argued before the King until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall cut the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's advisor.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: We recognize that religious humor can be risky. It is our hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, we apologize. Many were posted on Beliefnet, some were passed along via email and others spotted on other websites. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown -- but we thank them.

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On the Road to Potty Training

I've mainly given up on having the time to properly and quickly train Joy. She's getitng the hang of it though. Yesterday she went the *whole* morning without an accident in her new Winnie-the-Pooh underwear.

First, she disobeyed me because I told her that she could wear the Pooh underwear *after* she was potty trained. She managed to open the package, take off her diaper, and put on the underwear. I told her that if she had an accident, pee or poop, I would take away ALL of her underwear. With her usual determination she said, "I won't poop. I won't pee." I re-emphasized the importance of going to the potty and NOT going in her underwear.

Throughout the morning I asked her a few times if she had to go. Each time she said "No." We then had an outing to the library and she stayed dry the WHOLE morning! The whole morning! She didn't do anything until I put a diaper on her at nap time, close to 1 PM. close to 5 hours dry !

I'm so proud of her!!!!
We'll see if I can get a repeat performance out of her today or even later this week.
Annette Sargent
Open Arms Family Daycare
http://openarmsdaycare.home.comcast.net
Discovery Toys: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/mama_nette

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All Results - what herb are you?

All Results

Are you rosemary, mandrake, chamomile? Perhaps catnip, basil, or moly (what the heck is moly?????)

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Results...: "

What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla"

Catnip of all things.

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Baby sitter held in toddler's death

Kristal Giovannoni, 23, of Clark County is accused of manslaughter in the death of Theresa Caballero
Monday, November 15, 2004
PETER FARRELL
Detectives arrested a Clark County woman on Sunday after the toddler she was baby-sitting died of brain injuries earlier in the day at a Portland hospital.

Kristal D. Giovannoni, 23, who is pregnant, is accused of first-degree manslaughter in the death of 17-month-old Theresa Caballero.

The toddler had been taken to Doernbecher Children's Hospital Saturday while her mother, Perla Caballero of Portland, was away from home.

Clark County Sheriff's Sgt. Don Polen said Theresa Caballero died of injuries sustained while under Giovannoni's care.

"Kristal was responsible for them," Polen said.

Polen said he had no further information on the nature of the injuries or how they were caused. Investigators from the Child Abuse Intervention Center, which includes detectives from the Clark County Sheriff's Office and the Vancouver Police Department, released no additional details.

Perla Caballero said she trusted Giovannoni, who had cared for her daughter for months before recently starting a day-care business for about a half-dozen children at her home in a newer, well-kept Clark County subdivision. Caballero said she immediately enrolled her daughter.

Karen Jones, who lives across the street from the day care, said the children, including her 6-year-old grandson, appeared happy there.

Caballero said Giovannoni initially told her that Theresa was hurt from a fall off a couch. But Caballero said she got different information at the hospital, watching as her daughter's heart rate slowly dropped and a team of doctors was unable to save her.

Caballero called it "the ultimate betrayal" for "someone to claim they loved her as their own and they wouldn't harm her and for me to end up in this situation where I'm mourning my daughter."

She said Theresa loved life and dogs and was learning words in English and Spanish. Caballero took her daughter to Giovannoni's home in the 9900 block of Northeast 104th Court, outside Vancouver, because it was a quick trip up Interstate 205 from her work in Portland.

Caballero warned parents to carefully investigate day-care providers but said she never had any misgivings about Giovannoni and that her daughter always seemed happy to go to day care.

Next-door neighbor Keith Condon said he liked Giovannoni and her husband. Jones said she baked an extra pumpkin pie to send across the street to Giovannoni, who responded with items for her.

"She was a very good neighbor," Jones said. "I've seen her carry Theresa. She was good with the children."

Giovannoni is scheduled to be arraigned today. She was being held without bail in the Clark County Jail.




Copyright 2004 Oregon Live. All Rights Reserved.
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this is scary, especially now that I do child care and am often tired and sometimes frustrated.

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I HATE YEAST INFECTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They are making my daughter's life miserable and now ours. Have you ever taken one hour to change a diaper? Just because your child is in so m uch pain! And old enough to tell you about it?

The doctor says to keep doing what we have been doing, acidophilus and monistat. I think I need to take her back in. She gets a new one almost as soon as the current one clears up. It's more than frustrating.

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Satin Sheets by Nancy Wise

This had both me and Tim laughing out loud MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!! Best laugh I have had in a while.

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A Complete Sentence

This morning at 0 dark thirty my daughter comes into our room and climbs into bed. I ask her, "Do you want Mommy to take you back to your bed?". She succinctly, clearly, and emphatically replies, "No, I don't", and promptly falls asleep against me.

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Joy's First Home movie

Well, not exactly the first, but the first that I have been able to edit. She finally figured out how to open doors. Now, more than ever, we need to babyproof all doors. She hasn't figured those out yet. You can click on the photo or click here to see the movie.



Joy spent at least 5 minutes just going between her room and Josh's. Josh even came out of his room to watch her. Now, in the middle of the night, if we don't hear her, she just opens her door and comes to our room. So much for privacy :)

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Fearlessness

That's an apt description of Joy. This morning, on our usual trip to the park she successfully went down the fireman's pole by herself. I was helping the kids down it and giving them pointers. Joy actually listened and then some! She reached out with one hand and then said "Hands off!", her way of telling me she can do it herself. She reached out with one hand, swung a leg out around the pole, swung the other leg out, and then let go of the play structure with her other hand and slid all the way down.
She was so happy, saying her little "Yay!" and clapping her hands, and then running around to the stairs to do it all over again.

I can't believe that she went down the fireman's pole by herself!!!!

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I'm a little despondent today and a lot tired. borderline sad, or maybe just apathetic. Tim is of the opinion that I have too much on my plate. I'm of the same opinion too. I can't keep track of everything I have on my plate, let alone do it all. But I don't know what to drop, or if I can drop anything.
Right now I just wish that I could take a nap with the toddlers. But I have to watch the kids, who are watching a Mary-kate and Ashley movie. ... TV really is hypnotic .....

I suppose I should eat some lunch and get some more paperwork done.

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RandyEmberlin.Com

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Potty Training for Real

And so it begins. We've gone through 2 pairs of "Dora" underwear and 2 pairs of vinyl pants. We've gone to the bathroom 3 times, but nothing ever comes out. Not till ten minutes later when she's gone on to something else. My poor little daughter came to me after lunch, just about 15 minutes after our last try, and kept mumbling "diaper". I didn't catch on to what she was saying for almost a whole minute. We'll go back to the underwear after nap time. And I just love doing laundry.

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Joy's First Circus -- I'll post the other pictures later, but we all had a ball and she is *totally* into elephants now. 

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Potatoes

Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland . . . And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries . . .And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, ! 'Frito Lay'. Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho PU. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw! Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just .......................



Are you ready for this?......................




A COMMON TATER !

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Even her feet got the royal treatment.
Posted by Hello

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My little artist, before the body art started.
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Look ma, what do you think of my new toenail color?
Posted by Hello

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Finished the other leg, now for this one....
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My little Picasso, or perhaps Mary Cassat or Dali. After finger painting Joy started her typical body art but really got into it this time. She got her face, had a minor fit because some got into her mouth. After we got her cleaned up, she went right back to it!!
Posted by Hello

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Gotta make sure every inch is covered.
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First Poop

Joy did her first poop in the toilet last night!



I know thesilly little things we get excited about.

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Oh dark thirty

So, I've been up since 3:30 or so and can't seem to get back to sleep. Not that I have really tried, but I just don't feel like going back to bed. For the last few days I have felt that I needed to work on a letter detailing my trip to Mexico before the details fade. I guess I should stop procrastinating and get on with it.

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Joy is growing by leaps and bounds and so is her understanding and speech. Just a snippet from today. I told her that I would finally get dressed and then we would go for a walk at a duck pond. She runs into her room, I ask "Are you getting your clothes?" She absentmindely nods yes, but walks into my room, not with jeans, but with one of her duck books. And then repeats "Duck pond". She does need to work a little on enunciation, but hey! she knew where to find a picture of a duck with a pond :)

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I did a search for the Princess Bride, trying to find an "offical" site and came across a quiz. I turned out to be

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

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So, the other day I signed "hurt" or "pain" for Joy. She copied me. It's the same sign she uses for "nurse". I guess "nurse" and "hurt" sound a lot alike to a two-year old. Almost two year old. She'll be two this week. Where the hell has the time gone?

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I changed three answers ... but my dh doesn't do blondes, either :)

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Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

Great, I'm Gandalf .... and my dh says "You're a hairy white man and you wonder why I don't want to have sex with you?"

He was kidding of course.

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Today Joy showed me a new sign. It's sort of like her sign for "book" and she signed it while trying to say "nurse". So I asked her to show me her sign for "nurse" and she repeated her new sign. I've been trying to wean her by doing timed nursing, it sort of works.

But yeah, she's good at making signs andas of today has added a new spoken word to her vocabulary too. *sigh*

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Update on Joy and the Wiggles. She made up her own sign for them and requests one either their tape (the only one we own right now) or one of the CD's I've borrowed from the library daily -- sometimes two to three times daily. Usually three. They've even superceded Sesame Street and Between the Lions.

TIme to take Josh to Cub Scouts.

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You know, this morning I prayed for guidance, grace, I think patience (though I try to avoid that word), love, and all the things I would need to get through the day gently guiding my children and trying not to be an ogre. Guess what? I have had day where all I wanted to do was go back to bed and start over.

I started the day feeling physically exhausted, I thought a shower would make me feel better. No such luck. Then, the mere presence of my son annoyed me. Especially his way of trying to direct my actions and things I should do. HELLO! Who is the parent in this household? Anyways, it's a very annoying habit of his that I haven't been able to break and he was using it full force this morning. Just trying to be helpful you know and remind me of my duties and responsibilities. Trust me, I know full well what they are.

Emotionally I felt and still feel just completely weighted down. If there is a God and today was a test, I failed it miserably. My temper was short and in full force. I've yelled more than spoken quietly and have just had a tired, annoyed way of looking at the world today. *sigh* Here's to hoping that a decent night's sleep will make me feel better. And please, no Wiggles songs in my head tonight!!!!!

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It's very frustrating to get up early, have the whole day planned, and then have nothing done by 1:00 PM. *sigh*


It's even more frustrating when your blogging software stops working. I have been trying to post since Saturday afternoon. FInally had to go to Blogger to post

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Joy's new words for today are "Yes" and "Wiggles" ...well, she can't fully say "wiggle" but she can grab their video and make a two-syllable sound that starts with "w". And she even watches for a few minutes before being distracted by something else. She's also still picking up signs. I taught her "paper" the other day, so now she can ask for that with her colors (crayons). She kinda mixes "please" and "hungry" but at least she says "please" now. For about two weeks she absolutely *refused* to say it. Would rather wait us out. I wonder where she got that from?

Her favorite words it seems are "Elmo" -- no longer "momo". About a week ago Sunday she clearly said "Elmo" and rarely uses "momo" to talk about the red monster. She also says Ernie pretty clearly. Can't get her to say Big Bird or Cookie Monster yet. Her fave sign is "cookie". Go figure on that one, huh.

And boy can she work the VCR. Time to move it up out of her way.

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ARGH!!!!! Sometimes I wonder why I had kids. I *KNOW* that I had some graph paper and I even saw it a few days ago. I also *KNOW* that my son DID NOT put away one of my Bibles as he swears he did because I saw it on the dining table and told him to put it away. So, I tell him to get the Bible this morning and he can't find it. It doesn't seem to be anywhere in the living or dining rooms. I'm kinda attached to that Bible too. And his -- his he left in the car, which my DH has today. I guess we can use the New king Jimmy version. Man, I want my Bible back!

OK, back to watching kids.

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x-post with Musings



The Big Melt



Well, it's been a fun few days the last week. We usually get a little snow here on the valley floor, about 1/4 of an inch or so, just enough for a good snowball fight. We didn't have any last year and Mother Nature more than made up for it this year. We were snowed in! And asked by the local authorities to stay off the roads as much as possible.



Tim braved the weather and went to work. My home inspection has been reschuled a few times, but we are finally melting. Joy is not happy about it, not happy at all. She practically through a hissy fit the last few days because I didn't want to let her go out and play (well, it was ICY and she doesn't have the best balance).



A light dusting began on New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve Josh showed Joy how to make a snowball. She was all for getting out and doing that some more during the whole time it snowed. We thought that was cool and that it would be gone by morning, latest, the next afternoon. Boy were we wrong! It snowed all night long and stuck. I took a picture the next morning of our car. It was at least two inches, which, belive it or not, is a lot of snow for this area. Really, the City of Portland began to shut down. Don't laugh. It finally melted by the 4th and we were able to get out of the house to run some errands and get some groceries. Good thing we did. The snow came back the next day. With ice. And Joy wanted even more to go out and play in the white stuff. This storm had wind and freezing rain to go with it. Our porch was covered. I thought it odd that none of our neighbors (on the same block) had snow on their porches. Wednesday Tim had to stay home. It was too icy for him to walk safely and by the time he got to work it would have been time to come home again.



Pictures can be seen in my online photo album

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The Big Melt

Well, it's been a fun few days the last week. We usually get a little snow here on the valley floor, about 1/4 of an inch or so, just enough for a good snowball fight. We didn't have any last year and Mother Nature more than made up for it this year. We were snowed in! And asked by the local authorities to stay off the roads as much as possible.

Tim braved the weather and went to work. My home inspection has been reschuled a few times, but we are finally melting. Joy is not happy about it, not happy at all. She practically through a hissy fit the last few days because I didn't want to let her go out and play (well, it was ICY and she doesn't have the best balance).

A light dusting began on New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve Josh showed Joy how to make a snowball. She was all for getting out and doing that some more during the whole time it snowed. We thought that was cool and that it would be gone by morning, latest, the next afternoon. Boy were we wrong! It snowed all night long and stuck. I took a picture the next morning of our car. It was at least two inches, which, belive it or not, is a lot of snow for this area. Really, the City of Portland began to shut down. Don't laugh. It finally melted by the 4th and we were able to get out of the house to run some errands and get some groceries. Good thing we did. The snow came back the next day. With ice. And Joy wanted even more to go out and play in the white stuff. This storm had wind and freezing rain to go with it. Our porch was covered. I thought it odd that none of our neighbors (on the same block) had snow on their porches. Wednesday Tim had to stay home. It was too icy for him to walk safely and by the time he got to work it would have been time to come home again.

Pictures can be seen in my online photo album