A recipe for happy children (from a homeschool e-list that I am on):

Preserving Children

1 large grassy field
3 to 6 small children
2 to 3 small dogs
flowers (assorted)
narrow strip of brook
deep blue sky (large)
hot sun

Mix the children with the dogs and empty onto field, stirring
constantly. Sprinkle the field with flowers, pour brook over pebbles.
Cover all with deep blue sky and bake in hot sun. When children are well
browned they may be removed and set away in cool bathtub.