Nov 25, 2012

Really getting inside my head

Meteor crater between
Flagstaff and Winslow, AZ
taken on my Epic Road Trip
I've been asked "What is your inspiration for blogging?"

To be honest, sometimes there is just so much in my head that I need an outlet before it explodes (or I do)--and writing is that outlet.

I've always wanted to be a writer. In third grade I wrote a sequel to The Secret of Nimh and tried writing my own version of the Laura Ingalls Wilder stories. Turns out I'm a better editor. But I still need to write to get my voice heard, even if it's just by me.

I've been journaling since age 12 at the recommendation of a counselor. I wasn't adjusting well to my parents' divorce, puberty, and everything else a 12-year-old introvert goes through. My father saw that since I wouldn't actually talk to someone about what was going on in my head (If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!), I needed a constructive outlet before I did something drastic. I still have that journal and the many others that came after.

With my first computer I was able to create a locked journal that I didn't have to worry about any snooping relatives getting into. In college, I created my first website--on Geocities. I would take the time to hand-code long essays instead of quick blurbs (the WYSIWYG editor was horrible!).

And then came Blogger and Livejournal. No more hand-coding pages! I could focus on getting my thoughts out. At the time I would still write longhand (usually on breaks at work) and edit as I typed it up. Self-censorship was high on my list back then. Not so much anymore. But neither are my thoughts as deeply personal and revealing--mostly because I know that there are more people reading my blog and I only want to bare my soul to those I trust.

Luckily, I have plenty of hobbies that I like to share about, as well as stories about my kids and travelogues. So I blog about books, movies, podcasts, cooking and every now and then politics or history when some stupid troll one on the internet gets my dander up gets me thinking and clarifying what I really think about something. It's not all fluff in here.

I think that's the real reason I write. Before twitter, my blog had maybe three regular readers. Good friends who I rarely had the chance to talk to on the phone, but they wanted to keep tabs on me. These days I know many more pop in and a few stick around for more than a few posts.

Plain and simple, I need to blog to get the stories, the pain, the adventures, and the voices in my head out on "paper".


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