Jun 30, 2006
Jun 27, 2006
Arizona casket mystery solved
Tuesday, June 27, 2006; Posted: 9:41 a.m. EDT (13:41 GMT)
TUCSON, Arizona (AP) -- An empty casket with a military seal discovered in the desert was discarded by a mortuary after the deceased's family requested that the body be exhumed and cremated, authorities said.
Deputies were called to the desert area near Interstate 10 Saturday after two people playing paintball found the casket, which was metallic silver with a U.S. Army insignia on it. ...
Deputy Dawn Barkman, a spokeswoman for the Pima County Sheriff's Office, said the casket was taken to a landfill after the body was exhumed in late May.
Someone took it from the landfill, then dumped it, he said."
Jun 26, 2006
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
Jun 23, 2006
Jun 19, 2006
Jun 18, 2006
Thank you so much for your support!
Please check all that apply:
__ I would like to contribute financially with a gift of $_____.
__ I will pray for you during your time in Mexico.
Please make your checks payable to “Calvary Chapel Portland” and return with this form in the envelope provided. Your contributions are tax deductible if you do NOT write anything in the memo line. Please attach a post-it note to your check with my name on it so it will be credited to my account.
Jun 14, 2006
background: last night I decided to change the sheets and flip the mattress, not in that order. What a difference! Clean sheets, firm mattress=good night's sleep.
Can I go back to bed now? =)
Jun 13, 2006
Jun 12, 2006
... and I have a new one for the WNBA. Yay! Sparks are winning again after losing in OT to New York Liberty last week. But reading the scores, I almost feel sorry for Chicago Sky. They are losing to everyone they play. Though they are a very pretty team ...
Go Sparks!!!!! (Portland got rid of the wrong team when they got rid of the Portland Fire).
Gotta indoctrinate Joy in Lisa Leslie-ness
April 23rd, 2006
DV Cams: Agents Shafer, EMartin, Reeves, Carlson
Digital Photography: Agents Nicholson, Todd
Mission Inspired By: Agent Slavinsky
The idea for this mission was submitted by a stranger via email. Agent Slavinsky wrote in to suggest I get either a large group of people in blue polo shirts and khakis to enter a Best Buy or a group in red polo shirts and khakis to enter a Target. Wearing clothing almost identical to the store's uniform, the agents would not claim to work at the store but would be friendly and helpful if anyone had a question. There aren't any Targets in Manhattan, so I decided to go with the two-story Best Buy on 23rd Street."
Eating delicious berries and then getting diarrhea that not even Imodium seems unable to stop. And cramps and general upset stomach. Josh has a touch of it too.
Hrm, should I take this as a sign that I am meant to be a stay-at-home mom for now? Every time I try to work, I end up getting sick and doing all those things that employers tend to hate, like getting sick and being late to work. I'm a good employee … when I make it to work … urgh … tummy …..
Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.
- Samuel Butler
Jun 9, 2006
This is due to a willful malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed,
"Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus will replace it with:
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, The Holy Ghost.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention.
Jun 8, 2006
Google Video has season 1 & 2 of MacGyver!!! for $1.99 per episode!!!!
They also have Voyager and DS9 from the Star Trek Franchise featured on the front page. You can search for your favorite show by going rto http://video.google.com and using the parameteer tvShow:"show_name" hrm ... I wonder if they have ER ...
off to troll the web and catch up on email.
Jun 6, 2006
I find it interesting that the meanest life, the poorest existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human beings become more affluent, as their living standard and style begin to ascend the material scale, God descends the scale of responsibility at commensurate speed.
--Maya Angelou, 1970
In case you missed it on 60 Minutes......This is for all you girls 30 years and over... And for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's...AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!... This was a monologue by Andy Rooney from the CBS show, 60 Minutes.Andy Rooney said:As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all.Here are just a few reasons why:A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do.And, it's usually something more interesting.A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in whom she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved They know what it's like to be unappreciated.A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well- coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.Ladies, I apologize.For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you.Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.
gee whiz, I am becoming such a Google-phile, it's not funny anymore!!!!
Now this is a good use of Diet Coke and Mentos :)
Also viewable and downloadable on Google Video here
Jun 1, 2006
I’ve been thinking about the fact that I know I have sinned against the LORD and yet feel no remorse. The epiphany – you don’t usually feel sorry about something unless you do something you feel is morally repugnant or you hurt someone you truly care for or have some sort of positive relationship with,
or you are just so amoral that you don’t care. On the one hand, I have been an adulteress for so long that I don't find it morally repungnant for myself anymore. It's part of who I am. Sometime around the time I turned 21 I destroyed the part of me that cared about that. For the second, I realized today that I may have never had a real relationship with the Lord. I feel no loss, no remorse, no ... nothing. Just the realization that something should bethere, might have been there once. 29 years of ... lip service? faking it? was it ever real?
In the whole fiasco that has consumed Tim and I for the last 8 months (wow! that long already?) I've only been compelled to apologize and felt remorse towards one person, and it wasn't Tim nor God.
So what do I do now?